獨立、認同、矛盾

這是關於追求自己的獨立和別人對自己的認同時，
所會遇到的矛盾。
這份矛盾我不記得是從哪篇文章或書上點出的，
它得到了我很多的認同。

通常的情況是，
一個人不能夠完全地獨立生活(湖濱散記故事裡的主人翁也不是完全)，
他要跟其他人一起生活，
或許是心理因素，
因為有被接受的需求，
或是經濟因素，
如果有了認同，那會比較容易尋求幫助。

認同大概可以這樣說，
認為"你"跟"我"是相同的。
認同有程度上的差別，
例如打球的時候，我們分到同一隊，
這種命運似的，也能形成一種同在一隊的認同。
再多一些，
有時候你可能久久才會發這麼一張認同卡給另一個人，
那是因為你發現了，這傢伙可以溝通，
這幾件事的想法我們有些相近，
某些事的作法我們意圖的，也很靠近，
你感覺，你可以從他身上得到延伸，
那張認同卡，可能是因為
如果不是他，你就不會是今天的你，
所以你認同。

仍然是一般的情形，
當你被認同了，
也得到心理或是經濟上的滿足，
大多數情形滿足會下降(也許這是自然地)，
下降的原因除了習慣外，
還有可能是有新的需求浮現。
例如同在一支球隊，
每場球你都和隊友同上同下，
練習時付出接近的心血，得到榮耀時分享同一份喜悅。
但你會許會不想只是當球隊的四號，
你希望自己的得分能夠最多，
最能得到教練的信任，
最能得到觀眾的目光...
你可能會想要不同，
這不一定會破壞原有的認同，
但努力下去，可能就會走上不同於認同的道路。

可是這次我經驗到的不是這樣，
我得到了，
"要獨立"的結果。

My Poor English

Yes,
my English must be poor.
Much of time,
people ask me to explain what did I mean in the letter.
And I have to admit that
I have not enough reading
to find the proper way to express.
Sometimes,
I may use another way which may be so-called Chinese English
or another way invented by smug myself.

There is a lot of space for improving my English.

Bye Bye Wretch

Maybe my former blog service provider wretch has a plan to do something from users' password. (Here is a post discussing its purpose Blog.XDite.net » 變更密碼是為了提升密碼安全性)

Because my registered mail account is too old to use.
To get my blog account in wretch back needs to follow the steps in its announcement.
(Includes e-mail my id card photo !! - -")

I don't like that and decide to be kick off.

I will find some time to transfer my old posts there here.

I feel freezed and hard to breath

I expect myself to be a long distance runner.
But this time, I considered to run away.

I feel being tied to somewhere,
there somewhat I called principals fills.

I think it should be better to keep silent
when witnesses someone getting brighter and shining.

I refuse some chances to be a wider man,
because I think I shoukd be fucus on
my narrow interests.
I prefer to do somethings to make poor riched,
but do somethings to brighten some shining star,
or to get closer to win some light.

Am I dark? Partly, as I think.

I listen more than give,
because I think that would be happier for anyone
to give than obey.
And this might be an excuse for me to cover
my lock of idea, knowledge, common senses, or abilities.

I wait more than create,
because my laziness,
and I have no enough confidence to brings changes
which would make things better as planned.

--
I image getting out of a jail
and breaking something somewhere,
kicking someone's ass,
and slam down one ball,
waving my fists,
and do anything which could make me feel glorious.

Yes,
that is not true.
And I must face the real.

Things will keep going.
Suffering will come to its end.
Every thing will find it way out.